Good Hope Road

For the last six months, I have been working primarily out of Jubilee's satellite office in Anacostia on Good Hope Road. We are located in Ward 8, in the Southeast quadrant of DC's city.  We're across the river, and that's when the numbers jump in terms of unemployment, low-income households, crime, under-funded schools, etc.  While the manner in which I was asked to transfer was a bit abrupt (chalk it up to the M.O. of our non-profit), I have been thankful for the chance to be part of Jubilee's mission to some of the folks who feel the crunch the most in this city.  I was expecting to be in SE for a short term, as I will begin grad school in the fall.  Not so, according to my superiors.  So again, after some recent processing after a rather abrupt change in expectation, I am feeling positive about my no-longer-temporary stay in SE.

 

part of the reason I love my job is because I get the distinct privilege of interacting with folks with whom I would never before have had the opportunity to meet and get to know.  SE hosts some major transition houses where men and women stay after times of incarceration and/or times of recovery from addictions.  working with both of these populations have been part of the impetus for me to return to school.  our applicant pool continues to range - some have criminal charges while others do not; some are in recovery from addictions, others have never touched anything like that. 

so i've had the privilege of meeting some pretty amazing people.  the stories vary as much as the people, but I've been thinking for awhile that I need to start writing these down.  i thought about this one particular example from this month.  here's a young guy - we'll call him "Anthony."  He's young (21), has a charge from when he was 18, and has a refreshing amount of self-reflection, common courtesy, and initiative.  He had even just joined a local drum line held at a nearby high school. I told him about my brother who had always impressed me by playing the quads -- he said that's what he plays.

anyway, so Anthony was open to a variety of jobs, which is what many people say, but fewer actually demonstrate a complete flexibility.  there was a job lead that came from a former Jubilee applicant who was working at this company - and they needed more people! and i knew for a fact that the owners/managers were ok with giving people second chances (in terms of accepting people who had criminal charges).  so this job would have entailed phone work and direct customer service-type work.  first step was a phone interview, so I call Anthony and told him about it.  he called in, passed the phone screen and went for the in-person interview.  unfortunately, because of the nature of Anthony's crime (non-violent, but involving attempted theft), they were unable to hire him.  

here's where an applicant has a choice.  me?  if i were rejected from something after hauling my butt up to an interview for a job i had never previously thought about doing, i'd have been done for the day.  Anthony?  he left his one interview seemingly undaunted and visited another establishment i had told him about...this time food service.  Anthony was already dressed up and looking nice (we require shirt & tie for guys), so in he went, impressed the manager, and was called back for a second interview the very next day!  Anthony was hired within 48 hours of his initial rejection from the other place!  the food place was even talking possible management opportunities for Anthony in the future!  Good hope!

Now. Had this been yesterday, my post would have ended. Good Hope Road indeed.  we take the good news and the bad, but overall, we're about cultivating that Good Hope within each person who uses our services.  and i still believe that.  but Anthony's story doesn't end at his hiring.  i had forgotten to put Anthony into our system 2 weeks ago when he started (a rare neglect, but a pleasant surprise when i could increase my "hired" pile by one). I had just entered his data yesterday when i saw that I had missed a call from him.  I remembered he had tried to call earlier in the week as well.  called him up - we finally got in touch today....and he told me he had lost his job on Monday.  piece of crap. 

the events around it are unclear, but suffice it to say, the manager who had been so excited about him and his possible management potential had lost her job, and Anthony was out of good graces.  it was a menu where having a Spanish-speaking background could have been helpful, and Anthony believes he was cut because he wasn't keeping up with some of the Spanish orders. *sigh*.  Still Good Hope Rd.  But feels less good right now. 

I've been reading Tattoos on the Heart, a book by a Jesuit priest who has spent most of his ministry life working with gang members in L.A., along with the rest of the Jubilee staff.  like many non-profits, we rely heavily on numbers and positive stories so that we can share them with donors and continue the ever-present push for raising funds.  as i read this passage last night, i couldn't help but rest in the reminder that Christ cares less about results and more about relationships.  

Twenty years of this work has taught me that God has greater comfort with inverting categories than I do.  What is success and what is failure?  What is good and what is bad?  Setback or progress? Great stock these days, especially in nonprofits (and who can blame them), is placed in evidence-based outcomes.  People, funders in particular, want to know if what you do "works."  Are you, in the end, successful? Naturally, I find myself heartened by Mother Teresa's take: "We are not called to be successful, but faithful."  This distinction is helpful for me as I barricade myself against the daily dread of setback.  You need protection from the ebb and flow of three steps forward, five steps backward.  You trip over disappointment and recalcitrance every day, and it all becomes a muddle.  God intends it to be, I think.  For once you choose to hang out with folks who carry more burden than they can bear, all bets seem to be off.  Salivating for success keeps you from being faithful, keeps you from truly seeing whoever's sitting in front of you.  Embracing a strategy and an approach you can believe in is sometimes the best you can do on any given day.  If you surrender your need for results and outcomes, success becomes God's business.  I find it hard enough to just be faithful.

 this isn't about everyone just being one major success story after another.  it's about injecting everyone we work with and beside with the notion and truth that they are significant, worthwhile, capable, fantastic people.  it's about finding solidarity in the struggles, the frustration, the job hunt; and in celebrating the face-to-face interview, the one more possibility, the musical outlet, the sharp-looking résumé.  


three steps forward, five steps back, three steps forward.  good hope road towards steady income, towards recovery, towards stable housing, towards a degree.

from the desk of a JJ counselor

I am a patron of Hair Cuttery. I find it to be affordable, convenient, efficient, and they offer the best head massages when they shampoo my hair. oh my gosh. I'll get my hair cut JUST for the head massage! now, there's nothing super special about Hair Cuttery - it's just that they're cheap, do a decent job, and I don't want to spend gobs of money when my hair doesn't really need a super precise stylist. all this being said, my enthusiasm has been tempered a bit by a couple of recent articles from the Washington Post. they're causing me to re-think my de-facto loyalty to the company.

Michelle Singletary wrote an article last week that highlighted the story of one woman (K. Brown) from Baltimore. This last weekend, she followed up on that first article with this piece. The gist? Ms. Brown has experienced what countless Jubilee Jobs applicants face every day. Ms. Brown is an ex-offender. meaning six years ago she did something she now regrets and has spent these last six years incarcerated. Ms. Brown was looking for a job upon her release; she had skills as a stylist and was looking in that field. She interviewed with Hair Cuttery and was very up-front about her past charges. the managers decided to give her a second chance (bravo). Enter Ms. Singletary, the reporter, who was working on an article related to the challenges of ex-offenders upon their release - the financial pressures, the barriers to employment, etc. When Ms. Brown asked her superiors for permission to get her picture taken for the article working with a customer, she was fired. The company claims that HR up top never knew about Ms. Brown's charge, and they have a strict "no felony" policy - so she got the boot once they became aware.

Now here's the thing. I get it that companies "need to be careful" about who they hire. it makes sense in some cases. you wouldn't want people who have harmed children to be working at a school or in a daycare. you wouldn't want someone who had a DUI to be bar-tending right away. but I have seen enough people come through Jubilee Jobs to say strongly - these blanket corporate policies are not helpful!

Take Ms. Brown, for example. She had a significant charge, yes, but she also had 6 years to contemplate her life, and upon [early] release (probably for positive steps while incarcerated), she took steps to develop her interests, and she got certified in cosmetology. we tell Jubilee folks that the key to getting ahead and out of poverty is to pursue more skills/training/education. Ms. Brown did that and then looked for jobs that made sense. She disclosed the details surrounding her situation to the relevant managers at the Hair Cuttery. at this point, those managers discerned that she was worth "the risk". through her honesty, her pursuit of extra training, and her apparent eagerness to distinguish herself from her past, they employed her. bravo.

as a result of the unfortunate dismissal post-Post article, there has been an outpouring of support for Ms. Brown. people have written letters of disapproval to Hair Cuttery, and many have said they will no longer patronize the shops. This is heartening. it shows that if "the public" were aware of some of the broad-sweeping barriers that ex-offenders face, there may be even more groundswell to say - no, this isn't fair. people shouldn't be eternally punished for the bad choices/wrong decisions/terrible circumstances they once found themselves or made.

yes, employers should exhibit wisdom when assessing a candidate, but no - not all criminal histories are relevant to the job search - especially entry-level, lower-skill jobs that are critical to establishing a citizen's stability on re-entry. if an ex-offender can't even get into an entry-level job because of broad from-the-top statements excluding anyone with a felony, or anyone with any type of criminal charge, then what is keeping them from re-offending? Don't even get me started on the way we sentence people, the state of our prisons, and the prison-industrial complex! That is entirely too much for this posting. suffice it to say - people with records need to be re-acclimated into society, and we are not going to get well-adjusted folks post-incarceration if they can't land a job that will begin to stabilize their lives. the Hair Cuttery was likely not a super-well-paying job. But Ms. Brown was there for 7 straight months without any complaint. her foot-in-the-door is so important to building more hours, more wages, and eventually getting more opportunities to move towards a living wage (minimum wage is so far below a living wage it's pathetic).

let us not become like the folks of Les Miserables or The Scarlet Letter - handing out golden-rod passports or scarlet letter 'A's to people we deem as on the outside -- I guess in our society it looks more like that small pernicious box "check here if you have ever been convicted of a crime"...may we move towards more restorative responses to people who have made mistakes, acted out of stupidity or violence, and who are now in a much different place, wanting to provide for their families and begin a new chapter.

trust

a poem that found me in my silent retreat:

"Trust in the Slow Work of God"

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.

We are impatient of being on the way
to something unknown,
something new.
Yet it is the law of all progress that is made
by passing through some stages of instability
and that may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.
Let them shape themselves without undue haste.
Do not try to force them on
as though you could be today what time
- that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will -
will make you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new Spirit
gradually forming in you will be.

Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.

~Pierre Teihard de Chardin

a picture of perseverance

this last week was hectic at work for a variety of reasons. we didn't host orientation, so that allowed for a different rhythm, but it still filled up with appointments, meetings, and some abnormal out of the office visits. Friday was a mixture of productivity and oh-my-gosh-can-this-day-just-end-ness, when I got the call.

"Robert" got a job. He had just gotten out of the interview and he will start on Monday. ... !! What? That's GREAT Robert! Here's why it's great:

rewind back to March 2009 when I first met Robert. first impressions showed an earnest job seeker who always carried his shoulder bag that contained several folders with copies of his resume, cover letter, and summary of qualifications. the bag also held his spiral notebook where he recorded his job searches: he taped business cards next to dates of when he applied to where, and he wrote notes on when he should follow up. "I always take 2 applications" he told me with a smile. That way, if he messed one up, he had backup, or, if he hadn't heard back, he could re-submit his 2nd application (therefore increasing his name-visibility). I had not met many applicants who were as prepared and noticeably organized as Robert.

Robert's outward appearance was presentable, but not sharp. He wore black jeans with a button-down that, while not always starchy, was never dirty. His demeanor could have been called reserved or timid, but after any sort of conversation with him, he projected an endearing gentleness and optimism that I believed would attract potential employers.

Robert was prepared, presentable, and seemingly had the energy to take on the terrible economy. He also had relevant food service experience and only a minor offense on his criminal history. In his first week or 2 of searching, Robert landed a job at a dinner theater. Unfortunately, he skipped his 2nd day on the job because he suffered from a foot injury and went to the hospital instead. Even with hospital papers, the new employer didn't want the hassle. For 3.5 months, I worked with Robert after his foot fiasco. Finally, due to pressure from the director to "file" those applicants who we'd been keeping for more than 8 weeks, I had to tell Robert that we couldn't work together any longer. Momentum had been lost, things weren't working out, but if he wanted to return to the beginning of our process at any time, we were there.

In November 2009, Robert came back through the orientation process. He was still using his friend's cell phone, (meaning we couldn't have direct access, nor could employers) and while he still looked presentable, he was still not sharp. I worked with Robert for another 3 months, sending him on possibilities, applications, and some interviews. Discouragement was setting in and I was at a loss as to why he wasn't getting hired. In February, I had to file him because he missed his 2nd important interview - this time with a program that would have trained him further and assisted him after the training in job placement - and we have a 2-miss policy.

In March 2010, I saw Robert come through orientation once again. But this time something was different. Over the weeks that followed, I learned that Robert had increased the network of services he was taking advantage of. He had checked into a home that serves as a short-term retreat/respite for those struggling with anxiety. He had case management and was meeting regularly with professionals in the mental health field. He received several sharp-looking button down shirts, a few nice ties, and dark slacks. His glasses were fixed. He was being cared for on a number of levels, and his entire spirit was different - lighter. It seemed that unseen barriers had been removed and he was ready; ready to take on the job market filled with more confidence and a renewed sense of hope. I helped him get a cell phone that he qualifies for; it has limited minutes but was a direct line - no more leaving messages with his friend Bill!

Did he get the job right away? No! I returned to my questions - why hasn't he gotten hired? He had some promising interviews in April, in May, in June, in July...when would it end? How come his persistence, his preparation, his community of support, his diligence - had not paid off? Despite the new factors that contributed to his support, the reality was that Robert was still homeless, and it's hard for me to assess the emotional/spiritual/physical toll that sleeping in a shelter night after night has on a person. He also still had that misdemeanor (= lesser charge than a felony) from 2008, so it was keeping him from positions he was qualified for except for the background check. Do employers care about his arrest story and the situation that surrounded the altercation as he was shopping at the grocery store? Not likely. More likely they "get to the bottom line" - see his charge, assume the worst, and don't give it a second thought.

The beginning of August saw some light at the end of the tunnel. Robert got a call-back (a positive golden ticket) from a bagel place he had applied to in May. They brought him in for an interview and the manager began raving about his resume. "I don't want you just for crew - I want you for shift supervisor!" Wow. That would be great! Full-time, better pay, possibility of benefits. He had to meet with the General Manager. His impression (favorable) was different than hers (as I found after my conversation with her). Still, the GM had no problem with Robert joining as a crew member. At this point, we'd take anything. Part time, full time, whatever can to get him in the door.

Robert also got a call-back from a program that he had been on the waiting list for over a year. It's a temp job lasting 6 months with the potential of a permanent job after that. I advised him that Part-time Permanent was better than even Full-time Temp.

Finally, Robert ended this first week of August with an interview at a place to which I had sent his resume/cover letter. They called him directly and set up the meeting for Friday, and Friday afternoon Robert called me. "The interview was very nice.." I couldn't even take the suspense (at least i told you all before you even started on this epic journey!). Bottom line? HE STARTS MONDAY! It's full time! It's $9/hr! It's a small family-owned ice cream company that is growing and needs someone in the kitchen making the ice cream and cleaning up, and Robert is their man! That bagel place just lost out on someone who could have been their next MVP - but too bad! You snooze you lose! Robert is HIRED. I feel like this has been a year and a half marathon (so if you're like geez this story is long - you have NO idea), but he is FINALLY at a place to begin building stability and a future.

Robert has been a picture of perseverance and persistence. Even though he was the model applicant in many ways, there were still underlying issues that presented immense challenges to his re-entering the job market. You can do all the right things and still face barriers, and there can also be things beneath the surface that will demand attention before the outward stability pieces start falling into place.

There's nothing 'easy' about job placement. Robert's story has been an uncomfortable reminder that I do not have the corner market on knowing what the "secret" is to placing people. It's a group effort, for sure, with so many dependent factors that extend far beyond 1 organization or set of people. I'm so happy for Robert, and I'm excited to see what this new job will do for him in concert with the other support services he has in his life. May he continue to work in dignity for sustenance and hope.

Choosing Joy

Friends, it has been a good long while since I've posted anything. In a renewed commitment to reflect (in this format) more regularly, I'm focusing on a topic that's been pretty significant to me in the last few months.

Joy is that element of life that you sometimes hear people talking about as a distinctive: "happiness is circumstantial, but joy is a choice." What does it mean to choose joy?

It means in the face of hardships, we look for the blessing. when relationships are strained, we look for the truth, intention, and hope behind the pain. when the future is uncertain, we revel in the clarity of the moment. or when the moment is distorted, we search for the core of goodness that surpasses the passing impression. when we work for justice and the results are discouraging, we cling to the joy of small victories, of new break-throughs, of the beauty of people working in cooperation for a common good.

one of my favorite quotes related to the pursuit of justice while embracing joy is from Gary Haugen, director of the International Justice Mission:

"The victims of injustice in our world do not need our spasm of passion; they need our long obedience in the same direction. They need our legs and lungs of endurance; and we need sturdy stores of joy. We cannot ache and sweat through history's long arc of justice without clutching life-giving stores of beauty, laughter, goodness, love and light, without snatching delicious naps in the cool grassy spots, and without late night fires with friends who make us flush and ache with laughter. To carelessly ditch the cool canteen of joy in the name of a severe urgency is to misunderstand the expedition and to render one's self useless in the fight against aggressive evil."

Joy was a little elusive for me in the fall. Communal life wasn't the easiest, I was missing friends who had moved, I was struggling at work, and it seemed that relationships that used to be easy were hard, and those that had been hard were just replaced by other challenges. But a friend reminded me of Guerrillas of Grace, and Autumn's poem was particularly applicable: Waken in Me a Sense of Joy.

"O extravagant God, in this ripening, red-tinged autum, waken in me a sense of joy in just being alive, joy for nothing in general except everything in particular; . . . joy in having what I cannot live without-- other people to hold and cry and laugh with; joy in love, in you; and that all at first and last is grace."

What brings me joy? My family. This Christmas was a beautiful reunion after 4 Christmas' of not being together. And an added blessing? Simon Claassen Thrush! That little pumpkin has stolen my heart. being an auntie has been such a thrill. his big blue eyes, his little tricks, his tottering steps, his giggle, his shy smile, his charmer smile, his sleepy smile, his cuddly moods...so good. and sharing DC with Alan & Beth? quality.

'nother joy? GREs being done. done done and DONE. and the math? kicked that mug out the way! and I'm so grateful for the friends who supported me and encouraged me along the way - because studying for that stuff was not fun. but as one beautiful friend put it, God's call is not dependent on test scores. thank goodness!

final joy? (before bed): the Grantham Girls. the 5 of us were freshmen on Grantham 2nd Hall in 2002-2003. From that year, we created a bond that has lasted for the last 7/8 years. dang! each year has brought more adventures, more memories made, more laughter shared, more ridiculousness embraced. this last weekend was no exception. these girls make me flush and ache with laughter. if ever a word could brand a group, it could be "joy" - and I am full of that joy reflecting back on our years of friendship.

"Come, Lord Jesus, expand me by your power, . . . to do something I believe in and be something more of who I mean to be and can be, . . . to link my passion with courage, my hope with discipline, my love with persistence, to enable me to learn from difficulties, grow in adversities, gain wisdom from defeats, perspective from disappointments, gracefulness from crises, and find joy in simply living it all fully." (Gentle My Desperation)

Promotion!

I have another post related to my job, though I told myself last month that I’d do one specifically about being an auntie. Ah well…

My recent big news is that I was offered a promotion at my job! During the first week of July, my associate director (a woman with 20 years in the Marine Corps on her resume, so she knows how to throw around intimidation when she wants to..) told me she wanted to talk to me, and when I sat down at her desk, she said that Terry (the Executive Director) and her needed to speak with me in the conference room. Even though Jacqueline and I have a good rapport, it was still one of those *gulp* moments.

I grabbed a pen and notebook and came upstairs. After a little musical chairs, Jacqueline and I just sat there, and the scene went a little like this:
Me: So…
JS: What? (feigning ignorance)
Me: I’m just kind of wondering why I’m here…
JS: Your heart pumping a little bit?
Me: ha – a little!
JS: Why? You haven’t done anything wrong have you??
Me: That’s exactly what’s going through my head right now, just to make sure!
JS: ha – no, you haven’t done anything wrong…

Then the big boss came in and they unveiled the actual reason for the meeting: a new job offer! Jubilee received a large grant that needs a job counselor to assume the role of Job/Educational Counselor. The grant is for 2 years (so I’m committed through the summer of 2011) and each year our goal is to give 20 young ex-offenders (ages 18-34) a $1000 scholarship toward their educational goal, whether that’s for a certificate or associate’s degree or vocational training etc.

I’m excited by this prospect (though we haven’t done much to define this new role yet) because of the goal to work against recidivism (the unfortunate pattern when people are released from prison and then shortly thereafter land right back in prison). The foundation who is funding this grant desires to work to end homelessness and to target young ex-offenders who have the potential to make better career choices if just given the chance. Enter our program that already does job placement, and add me to the mix to create a fusion of creative imagining for a new future!

Though I still don’t consider myself a seasoned pro, I have worked in this organization long enough to see several individuals who have a “checkered” past, telling me how they spent the better part of their “prime” years (not to sound ageist in the least) just going in and out of prison. I am energized by the idea that if we step in and intervene during these critical ages, perhaps we can stop the cycle of violence by focusing on a career path that leads to advancement and giving back.

Because the grant is so new, I have the opportunity to help create and define my role, and while that is a little intimidating to me, it is also exciting to think that I can help shape this new program and build structures that will hopefully help future participants.

If you or anyone you know has insight into scholarship opportunities, matching grant options, or programs in the greater DC area that are in the Adult Education field, don’t hesitate to let me know :)

shifts at work

Jubilee Jobs has been inundated with a high volume of job-seekers in the recent months. Our week-long process of preparation was grinding along and we as Job Counselors were struggling to meet, intake, process, and place all the folks coming through the door.

Thankfully, a few months ago my supervisors heard our cries of "uncle!" and "enough!" and "not sustainable!" and we changed some structural things beginning at the end of April. Since then, we've extended our week of preparation to a week and a half and have thus staggered our orientations (the first step to participate in our process) to the first and third Mondays of every month (versus every Monday of every month). This has helped tremendously - mainly in giving us as Job Counselors a little extra time to work with our caseload of people before the new batch starts up.

With the extension of preparation, we've added 2 workshops to our time, making it a total of 4 workshops that each applicant must attend to complete the process. We've traditionally offered both an interview skills workshop and a conflict resolution workshop, and now we've added 2 customer service workshops as well. Each workshop runs about an hour and a half.

Before we changed the process, the workshops were mainly run by volunteers, and then a few staff would have to fill in as needed. With 2 extra days of workshops (each with 3-5 more times each day offered), Jubilee has needed to call on us staff members to lead the sessions. Consequently, I have been leading many more workshops in the last month than ever before.

I am enjoying the opportunity to facilitate these groups of 6-12 people on a variety of topics. I've now led 2 interview workshops, 1 conflict resolution, 4 customer service, and a few others on post-employment topics. I like it best when the discussion starts rolling and people are contributing fresh examples of the material we're working with. The goal is that as we talk through what folks can think about prior to their interview, they will have that much more of an advantage in the way they present themselves and market themselves for the job in question than any other Joe Shmoe from the street.

There's one quote we use in the Customer Service workshop that essentially says, "what is the point of life if it is not to make it easier for one another?" We ask participants to respond to the quote, and in my first time leading this session, one guy jumped in there with an excellent example. He affirmed the quote and explained that that morning, he was on the bus worrying about if he was going to make it to us on time (if they're late for any appointment during the week+ of prep, they have to start over again with everything), and there was a mother with 3 young kids and a stroller that had to come up on the bus. He told our group, he had the choice: sigh and roll his eyes and hold a grudge at the woman getting on the bus (how DARE she hold up the bus by having so many kids and a stroller...) OR he could offer to help the woman, thereby relieving some of her stress and demonstrating his kindness which would then put everyone in a better mood on the bus. It's THAT kind of care, attention, and service that we want to embody at any job we have so that whomever is watching will see what kind of excellent employee we are and it will positively affect our whole environment.

I do enjoy my work. The only thing that seems to be so slippery is time. If I lead workshops (they're very engaging), I end up having a hard time transitioning back to the Job Counselor stuff. If I do too much of the Job Counselor stuff, I end up looking for diversions, but then too much of that is not good either. What's that elusive little thing for which we all so eagerly long? Oh that's right - balance.

faithful

Happy Earth/Arbor Day. hope you were able to hug a tree sometime this week, because if ever there was a week to do it, this would have been the one.

did you know that it’s been 2 months since I’ve blogged? Did I know that it’s been 2 months since I’ve blogged? glory!

I have spent a significant portion of the last 2 months investing in some of my non-DC relationships. This has taken a toll on my in-DC community, and I am indebted to their grace and understanding as I have bopped all over the eastern states. My travels took me to Buffalo, NY where I reconnected with my dear friend Steph – and we got to celebrate her landmark birthday together! :) A core group of us from freshman year at Messiah (minus Maria) met up at Karen’s house in February and we spent a good time laughing, updating, and reminiscing. I hosted Sheena for Spring Break and saw family on either side of picking her up/dropping her off. I spent a lovely weekend retreating with some dear girlfriends at Roxbury Holiness Camp, and again witnessed the magnificence of shooting stars as we lay in a field huddled in our sleeping bags. I traveled down to South Carolina (dropping off Sarah near Duke) where I laughed and swapped stories with Dottie, Jon & their beautiful twin girls, and then stayed with my lovely cousin Megan and her husband Chris. So many good conversations, so many good memories made!

Even as I have tried to pull back from traveling in April and to focus more on DC, I have still had the privilege of connecting to both sides of my incredible family for Easter (and the added bonus of a bridal shower – woot!). To be able to share stories, laugh with cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents, sing with each other, glean wisdom and seek advice from my family is an amazing blessing for which I am so thankful.

Along with the traveling and reconnecting, there has also been some significant processing that’s occurred in the last few months. I am thankful to be standing on the other side of some of the harder conversations and testify to God’s great faithfulness – to loving even when it is hard: let us not forget “how to hope, how to laugh, how to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ how to forgive, how to bind up wounds, how to dream, how to cry, how to pray, how to love when it is hard, and how to dare when it is dangerous. . . . Praise be to you, Lord, for life; praise be to you for another chance to live.” (Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace)

here are links to some of the trips I've made recently...
Part 1
Part 2

Perfect timing

Yesterday the staff of Jubilee Jobs took a silent retreat at this place that the Church of the Saviour has owned for 56 years. It couldn't have come at a better time.

For months now, I've been meaning to post more about the ups and downs of my job. Just before Thanksgiving, I was getting really close to saying - I love my job! In fact, I had drafted part of a story that highlighted one of the best aspects of my work (this is from last November):

I’m so excited right now! So my phone call went like this. “Good afternoon, this is Emily.” “Emily – I love you” [oh..my…] “Who’s this??” “Rick.” [Rick had just had an interview with a manager late this morning] “ooOOoo Rick tell me good news!” “Well, Ms. Dionne…she said she’d give me a chance.” [you know when you can hear a smile in someone’s voice? That was this.] “Rick! That’s great! Oh man I’m so happy for you!...”and some other similarly exultant exclamations. The point is – he’s hired!

Here’s the thing. This guy has a pretty intense charge. Like, the kind where your stomach kind of drops when you see it sitting there looking up at you. But here’s where I love my job. He has just spent 14 and a half years of his life in prison; he was incarcerated for this intense crime as a 21-year-old, and he’s had close to half his life taken from him to think about how he wants to make a change. After meeting with him and hearing his story, I was able to then advocate to the manager about why she should take a chance with this particular man. Forget what you may think about an ex-offender -- this was Rick, and he is great. He is ready to work, he is open to learn, he will show up on time and will be a motivated employee for your team! You've gotta meet him!

And then things with work got tricky and difficult - from the internal-organization side of things. So then suddenly I wasn't sure if I loved my job or just enjoyed it most days.

Now, with nearly 6 months under my belt, I can say with pretty confident assurance that I do enjoy my job *most* days, but I'm not wide-eyed and naive about it being amazing either. The work is difficult, both from an organizational standpoint and from oh-hey-DC has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. There are about 500,000 DC residents and 60,000 of those are either un-employed or under-employed. Yowzer.

Tuesday and Wednesday were perfect examples of the up-and-down of this job. We had been [gloriously] off on Monday because of President's Day (woot!). So Tuesday was nuts with everyone calling in and seeing if there are interviews for them to go on (it typically takes 5-6 interviews before people get hired in this economy. So that could be 3-5 weeks of searching). I currently have about 26 open files of people (I started out only taking 7-8 new ones a week, now I'm doing 11-13 new ones a week) and if even only half of them call in, I may spend at least 10 minutes with each one (sometimes 15, 20, or 30 minutes even) and time just flies out the window. Add to that doing resumes with people or assisting with online applications and the day can literally just walk all over you.

Tuesday the highlight happened at the end of my day when one of the guys I've been working with since the beginning of January (and who's been exemplary in pounding the pavement) came in to say he'd been hired at Popeye's. HOORAY!! I tell every applicant that it takes patience and persistence, flexibility and preparation to go through the process of finding a job. But if someone sticks with it, they will get hired. It was so great to celebrate with Harold! And then Marcelle called in to tell me her good news - that this place where she had interviewed a couple weeks ago called her back and wanted her in for orientation! So great!

Then there was Wednesday. This was one of our long days (every Friday we get out at 3:30pm thank the Lord because 2 Wednesdays out of each month we stay until 8pm). We had a frustrating Job Counselor meeting in the morning (questions like - what did you do yesterday if we had no new clients to meet with?? are NOT especially helpful or supportive) and then there was more craziness on the phone. The low point was when Harold (see paragraph above) came in to tell me he COULDN'T take the job at Popeye's because the program he's in has a curfew for unemployed participants, but Popeye's wouldn't sign a paper that said he was offered the job because he was on probation so they weren't going to sign any binding paper. The form was for his recovery program and was not in any way related to a contract. But without the signature from the employer, his program wasn't going to give him an extension, and he'd be kicked out. So ... he couldn't take the job. WHAT??? NOOOOOO! So I got on the phone to Popeye's, but by the time I reached the manager, the owner (who made the rule) had already left. And I knew I wasn't going to be in Thursday, so I left a message with the recovery program asking them to PLEASE call the owner on Thursday because how stupid (I think I used a different word on my message...probably "silly") would it be for a great guy like Harold to have to pass up a JOB OPPORTUNITY IN A RECESSION BECAUSE OF A SILLY MISUNDERSTANDING WITH FORMS AND SIGNATURES???????

So anyway, THAT'S why the silent retreat yesterday was perfect timing. Space to sit and be. Space to walk and think. Space to be in nature without the phone ringing incessantly. Space to connect with this Jubilee Jobs staff that I really do love and am so thankful for.

Now. I gotta go. Because work is calling my name. Thanks be to God for challenging, meaningful, frustratingly delightful work.

I. was. there.

What a day and what a weekend. I've been meaning to blog for a while now - a lot has been happening and much could be said by way of updating - but all that will have to wait, because today is post-worthy all by itself.

how do I describe the incredible feeling of being part of something so monumental (ha..dc...monuments..ha...) and historic that it can blow.one's.mind. just thinking about it??

Six of us biked down to the Mall, anticipating huge crowds and lots of fervor. we were not disappointed. first of all - OK IT WAS FREEZING. like, not EVEN freezing. it would have been NICE to REACH freezing. so that was obstacle #1. no worries: 4 bottom layers and 6 top layers later, I wouldn't describe myself as toasty, but surely grateful for each one of them. also I had a glove/mitten combo and some headgear (not for the mouth) that made everything *except* the feet pretty well taken care of.

We decided not to attempt the sea of immensity that was ever closer to the Capitol. Instead, we opted for the bank of the hill upon which is placed the Washington Monument. Not bad. We could see the jumbotron (pictures had to be fully zoomed to see the image on the screen, but no worries, we saw it) and there were plenty of speakers set up so we could hear everything that was going on. It was me, some former & current housemates, and a million of our closest friends. oh hey :)

When I post more of these pictures on facebook, I'll be sure to come back to this post and include the link so all can enjoy. (here you go)

I have not been a part of any other Inauguration, but it was very clear even to me that something was different about this one. There was camaraderie, there were pep-chants (O-BA-MA!), there were people chatting it up that would never have spoken before (oh you're from Detroit? I was born and raised there!...etc). also there were a LOT of people there, and wow...what a feeling to be part of a crowd that is just a fraction of those who have begun to imagine again a new role for the United States - a new vision, a new possibility for a better reputation, a new resolve to stay true to the basic principles that formed this nation, a new strategy to pursue peace and justice and service and compassion....I believe I was breathing some fresh new air...and it was invigorating.

there are definitely policy areas where I don't agree with Obama or his new Cabinet members. But what I truly appreciate is his tenor, his tone, his perspective that smacks of a humble recognition of the enormity of what lies ahead. there's such a contrast between a leader that says, hey, we are in a mess and it will take time and cooperation to figure things out, and I'm not as much worried about who gives the good ideas as the fact that good ideas are being created and worked on....with the leader that says - hey, the country voted me in, EREGO I'm the boss, and this is how things will work - MY way and we're always right and America is just amazing and will always be and don't you forget it. that last sentiment is, how you say, stale, moldy, immature, and destructive reasoning that only got us into deep deep ... critical crappy crises.

alright - 2009 has begun, President Barack Obama has begun (circulating the many inaugural balls), and I will again return to regular reflecting (mostly for my sake, but maybe for the sake of a larger opportunity to dialogue...so please always feel free to email, comment, or call about anything you read...).

I leave you with an excerpt from my prayer for 2009 (from Ted Loder's Guerrillas of Grace, "I praise you for what is yet to be"): (and adapted to "we" language)

"I praise you
that you turn us loose
to go with you to the edge of now and maybe,
to welcome the new,
to see our possibilities,
to accept our limits,
and yet begin living to the limit
of passion and compassion
until, released by joy,
we uncurl to other people
and to your kingdom coming,
for you are gracious beyond all telling of it.

do you hear what I hear?

short story:

yesterday I felt pretty accomplished. I was able to procure SEVEN chairs for our house in the space of 2 short car trips.  see, I'm still on the email list to the garden co-op my housemates and I were in last year (but are no longer a part of..) and there was a moving sale from a guy named Beat.  Ok Beat (I'm thinking...of the Dwight Schrute variety?) - I emailed him sunday about my interest in his dining room chairs because as of that moment, my house of 7 had 7 chairs and 4 of them are just on loan till next week or so.  *tick tock tick tock* So this moving sale seemed to be perfect timing!  I was coming back from PA on Sunday and told Beat that I'd call late that afternoon.  well, I forgot.

No worries, I emailed him Sunday evening and asked if we could arrange for Monday after work.  Beat said yes, so then I called Monday afternoon to just confirm place, price, etc.  I called again when I was about to leave, and called again when I was just about there.  By the time I met Beat, I had said his name at least 3 times to him and possibly 40 times in my head.  well....

his name is pronounced Bee-aht.  Like...European.  whoops.  

in my small talk as we were looking at/checking out the chairs, I asked where he and his wife were moving.  He said something that sounded like Missouri.  as we were walking with the chairs to my car, I was like, so...Missouri, huh? And Beat was like, no .. Zurich as in Switzerland...where I'm from.  DOH! uh..European.  whoops.

so, instead of Beat from Missouri (insert hick accent), picture me talking to European Bee-aht and then picture me high-fiving everyone for my amazing intercultural skills.  good.

sweet community

I've been the recipient of some sweet community recently.  Take yesterday, for example.  Inexplicably, but truly, I was feeling lots of emotions swirling around.  I am blessed to have friends who give me the ears, the hugs, the presence for whatever it is that was affecting me.

It's also nice to have community when there are rodents infringing on one's house.  what? gross.  a mouse.  again.  this little booger went to a whole new level this weekend when I was away: he crawled into the impossibly narrow space between drawers in my ROOMmate Paige's bedside stand.  translation: in my room, 2 drawers above my desk stuff, next to Paige's head.  NOT OK.  then, during our house prayer/share time Sunday evening, we all paused as we heard the tell-tale scratching/munching sounds coming from around the corner in or near the kitchen.  Three brave housemates stood while I remained happily out of it.  that thing was chomping on our pizza box in the recycling!  hilarious though - Nick, who was the first one up, came back in and asked for a shoe - any shoe - b/c he knew he was gonna freak (his scream rivals any 12-year old...hehe)

Anyway other things I'm learning in community: how to mow the lawn.  ok, confession, I had never operated a push-mower before this year.  Since I've lived in a parsonage my entire life, we didn't have to do our yard, and my brothers and dad took care of the back half-acre field without me or my sister ever having to do it.  and aside from a couple dabblings in riding mowers - occasionally at my grandparent's old farm - I just hadn't done it.  but I enjoy yard work and when it was my turn to do that chore, I phoned a friend and dear Michael instructed me on the way to begin via cell phone (I love those cross-country calls) :)  So by the 2nd rotation of me doing yard work, I had it down, right?  

right.  so, the problem was, the lawn mower ran out of gas.  no big deal - the gas tank is down there and I figured - given my relative intelligence and intuition, I could figure this out.  here's the rub: oil and gas are NOT SYNONYMS.  and if one would, hypothetically, mistake the oil tank/dipstick/valve with the GAS tank...then that's not good.  thankfully, Paige's parents were visiting and her dad came in and I calmly explained that I thought I had ruined the mower and when he heard what I had done he was like, ohhh....yea..probably (ha, to which Paige's mom was like, 'he's a pessimist!') but anyway, we drained the now-ruined dirty gas and tried to start it again with oil in the oil tank and the remaining gas in the GAS tank.  it started after smoking but then it died again (here's to hoping b/c it still didn't have enough gas!).  So....lessons.  good solid life lessons...while living in community.  awesome.

the final thought to carry me home I guess could be on living in this wider DC community given all of this last week's events, though part of me thinks it should be its own post.  but a few thoughts, nonetheless.  it was exciting to live in DC when history was made last week.  since 93% of DC residents voted for Obama, once the election was called it was one big celebration breaking out all over the city.  a few of us who had been watching at my house ran down our street and through a few neighborhoods (fueled by the fervor of civic duty! ha) and there were neighbors smiling/laughing/waving/hugging other neighbors who before were strangers; there were honks from cars, trucks, buses and you knew it was for Obama; there were fireworks and toasts and screaming and dancing and...well, it was amazing.

I'd be happy to reflect more on specific thoughts regarding Obama and his policies. I am not  a 100% fan of what he believes, nor do I anticipate a full acceptance of how he governs.  but I AM inspired by his posture of listening, by his promises of change (especially in some of the areas of US policy that I tracked most last year, including how we treat enemy combatants and the shift I believe will take place in US-sponsored torture), and by the way that people of color and young people and people tired of what has become of the US standing in the world are imagining new things for this country and the people within it. 

now, I want to be careful to say that Obama is not, and should never be confused with Jesus - and some things I believe people are yearning for will only be fulfilled by the Holy Spirit moving and bringing about the kingdom of God here on earth.  People longing for change could mistakenly put messianic hopes onto Obama (there were certainly those who did the same for McCain/Palin) and I would say that's not healthy nor is it loving.  As Christians, we live in the world but are not bound by what fellow humans can promise us.  We live in Christ, the Eternal Hope, who was the ultimate example of how we are to love and live and serve and bring about the kingdom that he began.

ok, my preaching is done.  May you  find encouragement by the words of this corporate prayer we prayed in a church in Philly this weekend:

As we go we call this to mind and therefore are filled with great hope: your mercies never cease. Your compassions never fail.  They are new every morning.  Great is your faithfulness to your people!  Let us rejoice in the real life of Jesus.  May his person be made more real in our hearts. May his love be more fully expressed in our living.  May his joy be our sustenance.  Amen.

Door-ed in DC

Ok annoying little fact about this blog post: it is Take 2 after a post I was especially fond of was SWALLOWED by an errant internet that was acting out because it wanted attention. Last night I wrote a fresh blog post that happened the night of the incident you will shortly learn about. NOW it's a day-old and frankly not quite as interesting. I had even used "duplicative" last night! *sigh*. Read on, brave reader...you may still find enlightenment yet...

ha. ok. so.

To "door" is to [unwittingly] open one's car door into a passing person, often on a bicycle, and often with less than positive results. (let's make this an interactive lesson: ALWAYS check both ways before crossing the street, and ALWAYS check behind you if you're going to swing your door open in an urban street). To be "door-ed" is to HAVE a door swung into you while pedaling or pedestering on said urban street.

Why is this a relevant lesson? BECAUSE IT'S BECOMING AN EPIDEMIC!! In the span of 12 days, THREE people I know got DOOR-ED while on their bikes! and one of them was ME. last night! mother of pearl!

ok so stories. Katy was the first victim. 12 days ago she was cycling along one evening and was slowing to a red light and *BOOM* was doored from a woman coming out of her parked car. Katy was plopped off her bike and her chain popped off and her finger jammed. But she thought she was fine. and then the following day she did all her normal activities - including helping to lift people at her hospice-home workplace - and the next day her back threw a mutiny and it hasn't let up until just this weekend, but it's still very tender. she's been sidelined due to her dang door incident.

last night, I was biking to Katy's to go and meet up with our old housemate Clay and some of his friends. on the way, I had cause to coast down Columbia Road, a downhill stretch right before a red light, and as I was coming past the 2nd-to-last car in the lineup before the red light, *BOOM* the door swung out - of the back passenger side - at the exact moment I was passing him. this punk kid just started laughing and laughing as my bike stayed next to the door and my body flew to the ground. I got up and this old man on the side walk helped me pick up my bike and the guys in the fire truck in front of the culprit car all asked if I was ok and the guy in the car behind the punk kids asked if I was alright...and I checked all my limbs and everything seemed to be in working order. I popped my chain back on and made sure everything else was fine. the fire truck didn't go thru the intersection until I was back on my bike and waved them away. I appreciated the concern of the others, but was s.o. annoyed at the (15? year old) punk kid who just laughed the whole time. yo...dude...this is NOT youtube. it happened and my knee is swollen and thanks for nothing.

all that griping done, I am feeling ok, and feeling fortunate that nothing worse happened. my knee was swollen, and still is a bit, but it's improving little by little and I'm still mobile.

incident number THREE was on the way to church today, one of the current DY girls got door-ed IN A BIKE LANE. she was thrown into the left lane, but there was thankfully no traffic coming, so she wasn't hurt outside of a few bumps. we all commiserated with one another after church.

I guess since I've been biking now for over a year here in DC, my confidence has turned to an unrealistic belief in some sort of superhuman realm of safety that surrounds my bike like an invincibility cloak. well, no more. I now have a more sober perspective, or a renewed healthy fear (reverence) for the vulnerability of me - the city biker - on the open road. now, parental readers out there need not worry: I share this story not to sow fear but just to reap sympathy....haha..no no but just to acknowledge that like any driver of a moving vehicle, we all take risks. So, I will be careful, and alert, and I will pray that car-drivers remember to *cautiously* open their doors and check before doing so, and I will be ever more vigilant about checking/anticipating potentially stupid behavior in the dance we call sharing the road.

*note:* flowers, cards, sympathy checks, and other tokens of your care and concern can be sent to.. :) hehe..just kidding just kidding...

All things considered

Considering my track record of verbosity, isn't it kind of scary to start off with this subject line?  And YET, I will.  It's just that I haven't been as good about reflecting, and so now I have a lot to think about/process.

* Before I began at Jubilee Jobs, I started The Shack.  I'll admit I was intrigued because several people I love and respect recommended it to me, but I was also skeptical: how could it actually be all that great?  Michael W. Smith is on the back of the book raving about it for crying out loud!  For the first 4 chapters, it really wasn't all that great - the author was really into the way he described things (the lump out of the dude's head rose "like a humpback whale over the waves of his thinning hair" .. or something equally gag-reflex-esque).  

BUT - from the 5th chapter on I ate my words!  This book resonated with me; it struck something inside me that has continued to spark my imagination, particularly in regards to how I view God and what kinds of things I'm thinking about related to community, relationships, God's triune characteristics, the foundational truths that I sometimes pass over, and just a whole mess more.  

Some favorite quotes: 

"The choice to hide so many wonders from you is an act of love that is a gift inside the process of life."

"This garden is your soul.  This mess is you!  Together, you and I, we have been working with a purpose in your heart.  And it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process.  To you it seems like a mess, but to me, I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive..."

There were plenty more good quotes.  I recommend the read.  And then let's talk about it.

* Recent Frustration

It all stems back from me not being the greatest planner-aheader.  I had 45 days to get my temporary registration on my car switched to a for-real registration.  That requires an inspection, and then a trip to the DMV.  Sounds charming, right?  My deadline was Oct. 5 (that's ...today).  So about 10 days ago I realized I had 10 days and began to think about getting my car inspected.  I went online and scheduled for Thursday, Oct 2 (leaving myself 2 extra days for DMV hours...gooooo me).  

Well, Thursday I drove to work (instead of my usual bike-ride) to anticipate booking it down to SW to get my car inspected.  Well, I chose an alternate route than google maps (silly me) and was talking on the phone (strike 2) and wasn't exactly sure where I was going, so had just glanced down at my directions (during stop and go traffic around 5:15p in downtown DC = gross) when *BUMP* ... I hit the car in front of me.

[this story takes a while...shocker, eh?]  So - I had bumped into the rear bumper of this silver Toyota Camry.  I felt bad, b/c it's true, I was distracted.  But the lady started our interaction by saying that when I hit her, it had made her head snap back [on the headrest] and she was feeling dizzy; at a different point she told me she had called a family member because she didn't feel comfortable driving.  I did truly feel penitent - but dizzy?  Unable to drive?  I quickly began to get annoyed: a) at myself; b) at missing my inspection time; c) at drama queen lady; d) at the crappy situation.

So I called my dad (gotta love cell phones) and then called 911.  They dispatched an ambulance and those guys went to the Camry driver to see if she was alright.  The cop lady came and shortly after the Camry lady dismissed the ambulance guys.  The cop initially thought this would be not a big deal - just exchanging information.  But as she assessed the lady's drama level, she had the awareness that this may not settle nice & neat, so she wrote a formal report.  I drive a green car and there was absolutely NO damage to silver-bumper lady's car.  I took 4 pictures on my camera phone (at the suggestion of a sympathetic bystander) and am fully prepared to send them to whomever.  The cop sent me away with a $25 "failure to pay full attention" ticket (which she helpfully hinted could be contested..) and apologized to me for what I was being made to go through (she said, "off the record, I think this lady is BS-ing you").  

*sigh* Anyway, on Friday my insurance called me (I had reported it immediately) asking what happened.  APPARently, the lady is going to try to FILE A CLAIM to the incident!  I am befuddled trying to think of things she could possibly claim.  Imagine you were parallel parking and nudged the car in front of you a little too much.  That'd be similar to what I did to her car.  It was NOTHING.  But this is just something I have to deal with now.  go-ooo-lll-y! Piece of huffin cow patties!

Ok.  Enough ranting.  I'm sure more could follow.  At this point, I will close this lengthy 2-topic reflection and just try to check in more.  Life is moving rapidly and I have yet to feel secure in a balance that would sustain me.  I need more of this reflection time...so I'll have to work at carving that out still.  

For those that made it all the way down the post - good work!  Wishing you all wellness and autumn-ness :)

From the desk of a Job Counselor

This is actually not true. I'm not at my desk because, in stark contrast to last year, I actually have very little flex time at my new job. ha...the thought! So I'm comfortably on my bed, listening to some tunes, and needing to go to bed soon.

But first to reflect. I've now been a training Counselor for a week, and I do believe I've gotten to taste a bit of what's to come. Today I interviewed 4 new clients (we call them "applicants"). Tomorrow I'll interview 4 more. Let me try to put some numbers into persepective: Jubilee Jobs holds an orientation every Monday (barring a national holiday) where we introduce ourselves as a free service to the applicants, and if they stick with our [structured] program, they will eventually get a job (entry-level). A typical Monday in recent weeks has seen between 50-70 people. Yesterday, we had 115 people. An extraordinary high mark for Jubilee and a daunting thought when you consider we have 4 Job Counselors, and then some halfsies (the Executive Director takes a small caseload, and then Micalagh & I are newbies, but have shouldered 8 each given the monstrous numbers). It also indicates the nation's new unemployment level: 6.1% (a 5-year high). Incidently, African Americans face 10.6% unemployment, and they are the majority group that Jubilee serves.

I appreciated the Exec. Director (Terry) who checked in at staff meeting on Monday about the emotional and psychological implications of a group of so many job-seekers. She emphasized that we do not control the tight economy, nor do we control the motivations of the applicants (we call it a "self-selecting" process because there are a number of structures in place that will wittle down some of the numbers as we enforce the rules). It is our job to do the best we can, but not to bear the burden of the entire 63,000 unemployed in DC.

My first week at this job has been really invigorating. I have an inkling that I'm really going to like this work. Today's interviews revealed a little more of how emotionally taxing the job will be. 3 out of the 4 applicants are homeless. None of them were able to afford the $7 fee to get a police clearance, and the only way to get a free voucher for that is to go across town with a bunch of paperwork and then go to another part of town for the clearance.

I think part of what is drawing me into this work is that it's tangible. There are market calls I've done the past week (that reminds me of my persistent [nagging] to get appointments with Congressional staffers at my Maryknoll placement) where I'm on the phone calling employers to see if there are job openings. Every day I fill out a Daily Log that shows my market calls, my interviews arranged, my new applicants seen, etc. This touches my "achiever" mode (dusted off from student-days) in which I get some blood-pumping high off of the glorious CHECK MARK victoriously drawn for some accomplished task; the daily log also helps me with accountability :)

I also love that Jubilee fundamentally looks for everyone's "core of goodness". In college, it was expressed as a strength in developing -- seeing potential in someone or something and wanting to tap that, nurture it, pull it out, and watch it bloom. (hmm...some mixed metaphors...but I'm tired so get over it).

Anyway, exciting stuff is happening. It is a humbling experience, for sure, to think about the enormity of it all, but then again, our job is not to fix everything, but to work hard and well and lovingly in the places we inhabit and know that there are other members of the larger community doing good and faithful work for justice and love and peace as well. So - thanks be to God...Lord, hear our prayers...and good night.

Nicaragua!

Oh my word. So many things going on right now! To break it up a bit and review the last incredible month...

I had the privilege, honor, esteem, blessing, etc. to visit my dear old[er] brother & sister-in-law in Managua, Nicaragua for a week earlier in August. The BEST news any person could imagine after sitting in a Florida airport for 11 hours of a layover and still being delayed and then landing at like 3:30am my body time and tackling them in a hug after not seeing them for almost 2 whole years was to hear (read, actually) that I'm gonna be an AUNTIE!! :) Alan pushed a sign in my face that said "Bienvenida" (to which I was like, oh gracias guys..) "..TIA Emily!" .. to which I said SHUT UP! NO WAY!! *squeal* ))hug(( love all around.

Basically, the underlying principle of the week was that I have an amazing family and I am truly grateful for how good of friends we are. This was the first time all 7 of us were together for this amount of time on a for-real vacation. I mean, in times past, I may have returned from Messiah for Christmas or summer and we'd have a good weekend, or a good afternoon, or a good evening together, but we'd always have cell phones, chores, friends to see, obligations to fulfill, etc. This chance to be together in Nica was removed from all that, and even if there were points of the week when our insides revolted and crippled us into useless pieces of sickness, we STILL benefited from the rest, the concern/care shown, the loving teasing, and the togetherness.

I'm so thankful for the laughter, the good conversations, the reflections, the devotions, and the times of prayer and blessing. I'm also thankful for the chance to be young adults together (as siblings) and have the whole adult-family experience thing at least once before Baby WILSON (j/k...that is not the name...nor do we know the gender...) or Baby Thyme or Baby Bartholomew comes and becomes the puddle of attention that s/he will inevitably dissolve into once we feast our eyes on her/him.

(I'm gonna love as my little sobrino/sobrina grows up and Alan & Beth just shake their heads and say, you are acting exactly like your Auntie Em right now!! HHAHAHAHAHAHA) :)

Nicaragua Pictures: #1; #2; & #3

Torture Poem

So - during my Silent Retreat, I was compelled to write poetry. After some editing post-silence, this is what I came up with:

Justice Asunder
July 2008

stifled humanity –
sequestered indefinitely
sold for bounty –
silenced.

strained,
strung,
stretched,
scavenged for details, sources secondary.

savagery:
“saving lives,” yet
selling out the soldiers while
shamelessly gutting the law.

shocked strangers
shrink; terror abides
shadows loom
suffering strengthens.

seldom seen:
safety. In its
stead,
systematic barbarism.

sunlight scorches,
sleep disrupted
screaming daily
sounds heard nowhere.

sincerity neglected
suspects shrivel
secrecy reigns
sentencing suspended.

supreme court ruled
senate overturned
semblance of justice lacks
shred of authenticity.

suicide watch high
successful on occasion.
still they languish
striving for soul’s release.

slowly attention mounts
small groups push for more
steady message: dignity,
sacred life for all.

sadly Power resists
shrouds ugliness with lies
speaks of “saving American lives”
seduces public with Fear.

sleeping society awaken.
snatch back the convictions
said to be foundational.
sing honestly of justice for all.

sever the severe
soberly confess, redress, return.
sanctify the wretched
serve the sick

seal the taverns of indecency
step into the light of humanity
sustain the progress with
spirited review.

miracle week

We have a house. We have another male housemate. We are moving in August 8. The house has a porch and a deck. Forgive my doubts gracious Provider.

We’ve dubbed this past week as Miracle Week. Last Thursday we got word that our credit check had gone through; Friday they told us we’d sign the lease Monday (giving time for money transfers); Saturday we conference-called Nick and approved him to be a part of our community; Monday we signed the lease. Last Thursday, Isa was offered a scholarship from Wesley Seminary, where she’s planning to attend this fall. Also, Tuesday night a few of us went out for cheap jazz and when we returned, we saw that our garage door was open (dang it!) but that everything was still in the garage – oh my word thank you God.

Last night we had a DY Farewell Service (we called it our Baccalaureate Service) held at the Festival Center. It was a time of encouragement and blessing, and we were able to share 3 worship songs that have been meaningful this year –man do I love making music with my housemates :)

This weekend my housemates and I will spend “closure” time together Friday and Saturday. If all goes according to our plans currently, 6 of us will remain in the city (for at least a few more months), and Chris is the only one leaving. He’ll be going to St. Louis with Mennonite Volunteer Service. Paige may be doing a 3-year stint in Honduras with MCC…that’s still pending, but she’d leave in October if she is accepted. *sigh* So things are made easier because we’re not all scattering, but it is still sad and I will miss both Chris and Paige if/when they leave DC, and I will miss not living with Clay, Isa, and Katy once August 8th passes.

Hold that sadness in tension with my excitement over my approaching international travels and my anticipation for getting to know my new community members, and that is about where I am right now. glory.

NewsNotes articles

As a way of book-marking my NewsNotes articles from this past year, I'm posting them here. The picture included is some art by a current Iraqi refugee; her family was visited by a former Maryknoll Lay Missioner with whom I've been in contact. The artist's caption is below the picture.

Nov/Dec 2007

• Page 20 “Update on Torture”
  

March/April 2008

• Page 9 “Iraq: U.S. withdrawal key to stability” (Maryknoll Leadership Statement on Iraq; I helped draft the 5th point in recommendations – on “Care of refugees”)


• Page 13 “Women and Trafficking”

"They are waiting. Waiting and watching. What will come? Will it be better or worse? What will Bush do now in the Middle East? Will Iran be next?"

May/June 2008

• Page 9 “Iraq: Refugees long to live, unable to work”


• Page 22 “June is Torture Awareness Month”

July/Aug 2008

• Page 22 “Torture: Movement in Supreme Court, Congress”


• Page 23 “Blackwater Worldwide”

house hunt...boo.

Well friends, I made it through the silent retreat :) Actually, I really enjoyed the experience. I’d even think about being silent for a full weekend (this was more like one full day, with us entering silence Friday evening and ending Sunday morning. It was a good space to journal, reconnect with myself, feel connected to God in the beautiful open-air green glory-filled acreage, and reflect on dozens of things that came to mind.

Poetry played an important role in the weekend, giving me good things to mull over and an avenue to process some things I’ve been working through during the year.

It’s remarkable how vastly different the last week has been compared to the peace, space and pace of the 11-13th. Most notably, the housing search that the 6 of us future roommates are doing has been stressful, overwhelming, and marked by partial-and-mis-communication. Oof. We’re trying to work through, press on, double down, whatever you want to call it. We’ve applied to a couple houses but they’ve fallen through; we’re looking at 2 tonight…our hope is that we can sign ASAP and move in at the beginning of August. An ideal move-in day would be Aug. 8, but at this point, we’re trying not to be picky. Any and all prayers are welcomed.

This last week I had the opportunity to host/meet up with some friends I don’t see that often, and each connection was really good and rich. Michele stopped in on her way down south for a month of prayer, Erin stopped in on her way south for a family vacation, and I got to be a part of the bridal shower festivities of the soon-married Jill. Add to those meet-ups some good phone/mail conversations and I have felt encouraged by my greater network of friends. I am thankful for those rays of love that shine in on this darker time of uncertainty and transition.

I’m facing the sadness of the next 3 weeks and the pure excitement of going to Nicaragua on Aug. 9. Talk about rollercoaster…good gravy. Ya know, for years I had been self-identifying as a solid ENTJ on the Myers-Briggs test, this from my test as a sophomore in college during RA years. When I re-took an abbreviated test this fall with my housemates, it turns out I was solidly in the middle (one point toward F, actually) of Thinker & Feeler..making me a hairline feeler. Who knew?! With that door open, I have stepped fully over the threshold and now feel like I spend quite a bit of time processing through my feelings and emotions … those silly things that I proudly was above for the years of being a Thinker. So…all that to say, dealing with one’s emotions is exhausting, and I would much prefer to blink twice and be transported to the Happy-Land of Greener-Grassville and wake up in Nicaragua with my family – having worked everything out with housing, details, and contracts.

Pushing through my love of avoidance and escapism, however, is what Church of the Savior would call a “growing edge.” Also they’d emphasize “being” and “living in the tension” of the raging emotions I’m feeling. *sigh* Do I hafta??