faithful

Happy Earth/Arbor Day. hope you were able to hug a tree sometime this week, because if ever there was a week to do it, this would have been the one.

did you know that it’s been 2 months since I’ve blogged? Did I know that it’s been 2 months since I’ve blogged? glory!

I have spent a significant portion of the last 2 months investing in some of my non-DC relationships. This has taken a toll on my in-DC community, and I am indebted to their grace and understanding as I have bopped all over the eastern states. My travels took me to Buffalo, NY where I reconnected with my dear friend Steph – and we got to celebrate her landmark birthday together! :) A core group of us from freshman year at Messiah (minus Maria) met up at Karen’s house in February and we spent a good time laughing, updating, and reminiscing. I hosted Sheena for Spring Break and saw family on either side of picking her up/dropping her off. I spent a lovely weekend retreating with some dear girlfriends at Roxbury Holiness Camp, and again witnessed the magnificence of shooting stars as we lay in a field huddled in our sleeping bags. I traveled down to South Carolina (dropping off Sarah near Duke) where I laughed and swapped stories with Dottie, Jon & their beautiful twin girls, and then stayed with my lovely cousin Megan and her husband Chris. So many good conversations, so many good memories made!

Even as I have tried to pull back from traveling in April and to focus more on DC, I have still had the privilege of connecting to both sides of my incredible family for Easter (and the added bonus of a bridal shower – woot!). To be able to share stories, laugh with cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents, sing with each other, glean wisdom and seek advice from my family is an amazing blessing for which I am so thankful.

Along with the traveling and reconnecting, there has also been some significant processing that’s occurred in the last few months. I am thankful to be standing on the other side of some of the harder conversations and testify to God’s great faithfulness – to loving even when it is hard: let us not forget “how to hope, how to laugh, how to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ how to forgive, how to bind up wounds, how to dream, how to cry, how to pray, how to love when it is hard, and how to dare when it is dangerous. . . . Praise be to you, Lord, for life; praise be to you for another chance to live.” (Ted Loder, Guerrillas of Grace)

here are links to some of the trips I've made recently...
Part 1
Part 2

Perfect timing

Yesterday the staff of Jubilee Jobs took a silent retreat at this place that the Church of the Saviour has owned for 56 years. It couldn't have come at a better time.

For months now, I've been meaning to post more about the ups and downs of my job. Just before Thanksgiving, I was getting really close to saying - I love my job! In fact, I had drafted part of a story that highlighted one of the best aspects of my work (this is from last November):

I’m so excited right now! So my phone call went like this. “Good afternoon, this is Emily.” “Emily – I love you” [oh..my…] “Who’s this??” “Rick.” [Rick had just had an interview with a manager late this morning] “ooOOoo Rick tell me good news!” “Well, Ms. Dionne…she said she’d give me a chance.” [you know when you can hear a smile in someone’s voice? That was this.] “Rick! That’s great! Oh man I’m so happy for you!...”and some other similarly exultant exclamations. The point is – he’s hired!

Here’s the thing. This guy has a pretty intense charge. Like, the kind where your stomach kind of drops when you see it sitting there looking up at you. But here’s where I love my job. He has just spent 14 and a half years of his life in prison; he was incarcerated for this intense crime as a 21-year-old, and he’s had close to half his life taken from him to think about how he wants to make a change. After meeting with him and hearing his story, I was able to then advocate to the manager about why she should take a chance with this particular man. Forget what you may think about an ex-offender -- this was Rick, and he is great. He is ready to work, he is open to learn, he will show up on time and will be a motivated employee for your team! You've gotta meet him!

And then things with work got tricky and difficult - from the internal-organization side of things. So then suddenly I wasn't sure if I loved my job or just enjoyed it most days.

Now, with nearly 6 months under my belt, I can say with pretty confident assurance that I do enjoy my job *most* days, but I'm not wide-eyed and naive about it being amazing either. The work is difficult, both from an organizational standpoint and from oh-hey-DC has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country. There are about 500,000 DC residents and 60,000 of those are either un-employed or under-employed. Yowzer.

Tuesday and Wednesday were perfect examples of the up-and-down of this job. We had been [gloriously] off on Monday because of President's Day (woot!). So Tuesday was nuts with everyone calling in and seeing if there are interviews for them to go on (it typically takes 5-6 interviews before people get hired in this economy. So that could be 3-5 weeks of searching). I currently have about 26 open files of people (I started out only taking 7-8 new ones a week, now I'm doing 11-13 new ones a week) and if even only half of them call in, I may spend at least 10 minutes with each one (sometimes 15, 20, or 30 minutes even) and time just flies out the window. Add to that doing resumes with people or assisting with online applications and the day can literally just walk all over you.

Tuesday the highlight happened at the end of my day when one of the guys I've been working with since the beginning of January (and who's been exemplary in pounding the pavement) came in to say he'd been hired at Popeye's. HOORAY!! I tell every applicant that it takes patience and persistence, flexibility and preparation to go through the process of finding a job. But if someone sticks with it, they will get hired. It was so great to celebrate with Harold! And then Marcelle called in to tell me her good news - that this place where she had interviewed a couple weeks ago called her back and wanted her in for orientation! So great!

Then there was Wednesday. This was one of our long days (every Friday we get out at 3:30pm thank the Lord because 2 Wednesdays out of each month we stay until 8pm). We had a frustrating Job Counselor meeting in the morning (questions like - what did you do yesterday if we had no new clients to meet with?? are NOT especially helpful or supportive) and then there was more craziness on the phone. The low point was when Harold (see paragraph above) came in to tell me he COULDN'T take the job at Popeye's because the program he's in has a curfew for unemployed participants, but Popeye's wouldn't sign a paper that said he was offered the job because he was on probation so they weren't going to sign any binding paper. The form was for his recovery program and was not in any way related to a contract. But without the signature from the employer, his program wasn't going to give him an extension, and he'd be kicked out. So ... he couldn't take the job. WHAT??? NOOOOOO! So I got on the phone to Popeye's, but by the time I reached the manager, the owner (who made the rule) had already left. And I knew I wasn't going to be in Thursday, so I left a message with the recovery program asking them to PLEASE call the owner on Thursday because how stupid (I think I used a different word on my message...probably "silly") would it be for a great guy like Harold to have to pass up a JOB OPPORTUNITY IN A RECESSION BECAUSE OF A SILLY MISUNDERSTANDING WITH FORMS AND SIGNATURES???????

So anyway, THAT'S why the silent retreat yesterday was perfect timing. Space to sit and be. Space to walk and think. Space to be in nature without the phone ringing incessantly. Space to connect with this Jubilee Jobs staff that I really do love and am so thankful for.

Now. I gotta go. Because work is calling my name. Thanks be to God for challenging, meaningful, frustratingly delightful work.

I. was. there.

What a day and what a weekend. I've been meaning to blog for a while now - a lot has been happening and much could be said by way of updating - but all that will have to wait, because today is post-worthy all by itself.

how do I describe the incredible feeling of being part of something so monumental (ha..dc...monuments..ha...) and historic that it can blow.one's.mind. just thinking about it??

Six of us biked down to the Mall, anticipating huge crowds and lots of fervor. we were not disappointed. first of all - OK IT WAS FREEZING. like, not EVEN freezing. it would have been NICE to REACH freezing. so that was obstacle #1. no worries: 4 bottom layers and 6 top layers later, I wouldn't describe myself as toasty, but surely grateful for each one of them. also I had a glove/mitten combo and some headgear (not for the mouth) that made everything *except* the feet pretty well taken care of.

We decided not to attempt the sea of immensity that was ever closer to the Capitol. Instead, we opted for the bank of the hill upon which is placed the Washington Monument. Not bad. We could see the jumbotron (pictures had to be fully zoomed to see the image on the screen, but no worries, we saw it) and there were plenty of speakers set up so we could hear everything that was going on. It was me, some former & current housemates, and a million of our closest friends. oh hey :)

When I post more of these pictures on facebook, I'll be sure to come back to this post and include the link so all can enjoy. (here you go)

I have not been a part of any other Inauguration, but it was very clear even to me that something was different about this one. There was camaraderie, there were pep-chants (O-BA-MA!), there were people chatting it up that would never have spoken before (oh you're from Detroit? I was born and raised there!...etc). also there were a LOT of people there, and wow...what a feeling to be part of a crowd that is just a fraction of those who have begun to imagine again a new role for the United States - a new vision, a new possibility for a better reputation, a new resolve to stay true to the basic principles that formed this nation, a new strategy to pursue peace and justice and service and compassion....I believe I was breathing some fresh new air...and it was invigorating.

there are definitely policy areas where I don't agree with Obama or his new Cabinet members. But what I truly appreciate is his tenor, his tone, his perspective that smacks of a humble recognition of the enormity of what lies ahead. there's such a contrast between a leader that says, hey, we are in a mess and it will take time and cooperation to figure things out, and I'm not as much worried about who gives the good ideas as the fact that good ideas are being created and worked on....with the leader that says - hey, the country voted me in, EREGO I'm the boss, and this is how things will work - MY way and we're always right and America is just amazing and will always be and don't you forget it. that last sentiment is, how you say, stale, moldy, immature, and destructive reasoning that only got us into deep deep ... critical crappy crises.

alright - 2009 has begun, President Barack Obama has begun (circulating the many inaugural balls), and I will again return to regular reflecting (mostly for my sake, but maybe for the sake of a larger opportunity to dialogue...so please always feel free to email, comment, or call about anything you read...).

I leave you with an excerpt from my prayer for 2009 (from Ted Loder's Guerrillas of Grace, "I praise you for what is yet to be"): (and adapted to "we" language)

"I praise you
that you turn us loose
to go with you to the edge of now and maybe,
to welcome the new,
to see our possibilities,
to accept our limits,
and yet begin living to the limit
of passion and compassion
until, released by joy,
we uncurl to other people
and to your kingdom coming,
for you are gracious beyond all telling of it.

do you hear what I hear?

short story:

yesterday I felt pretty accomplished. I was able to procure SEVEN chairs for our house in the space of 2 short car trips.  see, I'm still on the email list to the garden co-op my housemates and I were in last year (but are no longer a part of..) and there was a moving sale from a guy named Beat.  Ok Beat (I'm thinking...of the Dwight Schrute variety?) - I emailed him sunday about my interest in his dining room chairs because as of that moment, my house of 7 had 7 chairs and 4 of them are just on loan till next week or so.  *tick tock tick tock* So this moving sale seemed to be perfect timing!  I was coming back from PA on Sunday and told Beat that I'd call late that afternoon.  well, I forgot.

No worries, I emailed him Sunday evening and asked if we could arrange for Monday after work.  Beat said yes, so then I called Monday afternoon to just confirm place, price, etc.  I called again when I was about to leave, and called again when I was just about there.  By the time I met Beat, I had said his name at least 3 times to him and possibly 40 times in my head.  well....

his name is pronounced Bee-aht.  Like...European.  whoops.  

in my small talk as we were looking at/checking out the chairs, I asked where he and his wife were moving.  He said something that sounded like Missouri.  as we were walking with the chairs to my car, I was like, so...Missouri, huh? And Beat was like, no .. Zurich as in Switzerland...where I'm from.  DOH! uh..European.  whoops.

so, instead of Beat from Missouri (insert hick accent), picture me talking to European Bee-aht and then picture me high-fiving everyone for my amazing intercultural skills.  good.

sweet community

I've been the recipient of some sweet community recently.  Take yesterday, for example.  Inexplicably, but truly, I was feeling lots of emotions swirling around.  I am blessed to have friends who give me the ears, the hugs, the presence for whatever it is that was affecting me.

It's also nice to have community when there are rodents infringing on one's house.  what? gross.  a mouse.  again.  this little booger went to a whole new level this weekend when I was away: he crawled into the impossibly narrow space between drawers in my ROOMmate Paige's bedside stand.  translation: in my room, 2 drawers above my desk stuff, next to Paige's head.  NOT OK.  then, during our house prayer/share time Sunday evening, we all paused as we heard the tell-tale scratching/munching sounds coming from around the corner in or near the kitchen.  Three brave housemates stood while I remained happily out of it.  that thing was chomping on our pizza box in the recycling!  hilarious though - Nick, who was the first one up, came back in and asked for a shoe - any shoe - b/c he knew he was gonna freak (his scream rivals any 12-year old...hehe)

Anyway other things I'm learning in community: how to mow the lawn.  ok, confession, I had never operated a push-mower before this year.  Since I've lived in a parsonage my entire life, we didn't have to do our yard, and my brothers and dad took care of the back half-acre field without me or my sister ever having to do it.  and aside from a couple dabblings in riding mowers - occasionally at my grandparent's old farm - I just hadn't done it.  but I enjoy yard work and when it was my turn to do that chore, I phoned a friend and dear Michael instructed me on the way to begin via cell phone (I love those cross-country calls) :)  So by the 2nd rotation of me doing yard work, I had it down, right?  

right.  so, the problem was, the lawn mower ran out of gas.  no big deal - the gas tank is down there and I figured - given my relative intelligence and intuition, I could figure this out.  here's the rub: oil and gas are NOT SYNONYMS.  and if one would, hypothetically, mistake the oil tank/dipstick/valve with the GAS tank...then that's not good.  thankfully, Paige's parents were visiting and her dad came in and I calmly explained that I thought I had ruined the mower and when he heard what I had done he was like, ohhh....yea..probably (ha, to which Paige's mom was like, 'he's a pessimist!') but anyway, we drained the now-ruined dirty gas and tried to start it again with oil in the oil tank and the remaining gas in the GAS tank.  it started after smoking but then it died again (here's to hoping b/c it still didn't have enough gas!).  So....lessons.  good solid life lessons...while living in community.  awesome.

the final thought to carry me home I guess could be on living in this wider DC community given all of this last week's events, though part of me thinks it should be its own post.  but a few thoughts, nonetheless.  it was exciting to live in DC when history was made last week.  since 93% of DC residents voted for Obama, once the election was called it was one big celebration breaking out all over the city.  a few of us who had been watching at my house ran down our street and through a few neighborhoods (fueled by the fervor of civic duty! ha) and there were neighbors smiling/laughing/waving/hugging other neighbors who before were strangers; there were honks from cars, trucks, buses and you knew it was for Obama; there were fireworks and toasts and screaming and dancing and...well, it was amazing.

I'd be happy to reflect more on specific thoughts regarding Obama and his policies. I am not  a 100% fan of what he believes, nor do I anticipate a full acceptance of how he governs.  but I AM inspired by his posture of listening, by his promises of change (especially in some of the areas of US policy that I tracked most last year, including how we treat enemy combatants and the shift I believe will take place in US-sponsored torture), and by the way that people of color and young people and people tired of what has become of the US standing in the world are imagining new things for this country and the people within it. 

now, I want to be careful to say that Obama is not, and should never be confused with Jesus - and some things I believe people are yearning for will only be fulfilled by the Holy Spirit moving and bringing about the kingdom of God here on earth.  People longing for change could mistakenly put messianic hopes onto Obama (there were certainly those who did the same for McCain/Palin) and I would say that's not healthy nor is it loving.  As Christians, we live in the world but are not bound by what fellow humans can promise us.  We live in Christ, the Eternal Hope, who was the ultimate example of how we are to love and live and serve and bring about the kingdom that he began.

ok, my preaching is done.  May you  find encouragement by the words of this corporate prayer we prayed in a church in Philly this weekend:

As we go we call this to mind and therefore are filled with great hope: your mercies never cease. Your compassions never fail.  They are new every morning.  Great is your faithfulness to your people!  Let us rejoice in the real life of Jesus.  May his person be made more real in our hearts. May his love be more fully expressed in our living.  May his joy be our sustenance.  Amen.

Door-ed in DC

Ok annoying little fact about this blog post: it is Take 2 after a post I was especially fond of was SWALLOWED by an errant internet that was acting out because it wanted attention. Last night I wrote a fresh blog post that happened the night of the incident you will shortly learn about. NOW it's a day-old and frankly not quite as interesting. I had even used "duplicative" last night! *sigh*. Read on, brave reader...you may still find enlightenment yet...

ha. ok. so.

To "door" is to [unwittingly] open one's car door into a passing person, often on a bicycle, and often with less than positive results. (let's make this an interactive lesson: ALWAYS check both ways before crossing the street, and ALWAYS check behind you if you're going to swing your door open in an urban street). To be "door-ed" is to HAVE a door swung into you while pedaling or pedestering on said urban street.

Why is this a relevant lesson? BECAUSE IT'S BECOMING AN EPIDEMIC!! In the span of 12 days, THREE people I know got DOOR-ED while on their bikes! and one of them was ME. last night! mother of pearl!

ok so stories. Katy was the first victim. 12 days ago she was cycling along one evening and was slowing to a red light and *BOOM* was doored from a woman coming out of her parked car. Katy was plopped off her bike and her chain popped off and her finger jammed. But she thought she was fine. and then the following day she did all her normal activities - including helping to lift people at her hospice-home workplace - and the next day her back threw a mutiny and it hasn't let up until just this weekend, but it's still very tender. she's been sidelined due to her dang door incident.

last night, I was biking to Katy's to go and meet up with our old housemate Clay and some of his friends. on the way, I had cause to coast down Columbia Road, a downhill stretch right before a red light, and as I was coming past the 2nd-to-last car in the lineup before the red light, *BOOM* the door swung out - of the back passenger side - at the exact moment I was passing him. this punk kid just started laughing and laughing as my bike stayed next to the door and my body flew to the ground. I got up and this old man on the side walk helped me pick up my bike and the guys in the fire truck in front of the culprit car all asked if I was ok and the guy in the car behind the punk kids asked if I was alright...and I checked all my limbs and everything seemed to be in working order. I popped my chain back on and made sure everything else was fine. the fire truck didn't go thru the intersection until I was back on my bike and waved them away. I appreciated the concern of the others, but was s.o. annoyed at the (15? year old) punk kid who just laughed the whole time. yo...dude...this is NOT youtube. it happened and my knee is swollen and thanks for nothing.

all that griping done, I am feeling ok, and feeling fortunate that nothing worse happened. my knee was swollen, and still is a bit, but it's improving little by little and I'm still mobile.

incident number THREE was on the way to church today, one of the current DY girls got door-ed IN A BIKE LANE. she was thrown into the left lane, but there was thankfully no traffic coming, so she wasn't hurt outside of a few bumps. we all commiserated with one another after church.

I guess since I've been biking now for over a year here in DC, my confidence has turned to an unrealistic belief in some sort of superhuman realm of safety that surrounds my bike like an invincibility cloak. well, no more. I now have a more sober perspective, or a renewed healthy fear (reverence) for the vulnerability of me - the city biker - on the open road. now, parental readers out there need not worry: I share this story not to sow fear but just to reap sympathy....haha..no no but just to acknowledge that like any driver of a moving vehicle, we all take risks. So, I will be careful, and alert, and I will pray that car-drivers remember to *cautiously* open their doors and check before doing so, and I will be ever more vigilant about checking/anticipating potentially stupid behavior in the dance we call sharing the road.

*note:* flowers, cards, sympathy checks, and other tokens of your care and concern can be sent to.. :) hehe..just kidding just kidding...

All things considered

Considering my track record of verbosity, isn't it kind of scary to start off with this subject line?  And YET, I will.  It's just that I haven't been as good about reflecting, and so now I have a lot to think about/process.

* Before I began at Jubilee Jobs, I started The Shack.  I'll admit I was intrigued because several people I love and respect recommended it to me, but I was also skeptical: how could it actually be all that great?  Michael W. Smith is on the back of the book raving about it for crying out loud!  For the first 4 chapters, it really wasn't all that great - the author was really into the way he described things (the lump out of the dude's head rose "like a humpback whale over the waves of his thinning hair" .. or something equally gag-reflex-esque).  

BUT - from the 5th chapter on I ate my words!  This book resonated with me; it struck something inside me that has continued to spark my imagination, particularly in regards to how I view God and what kinds of things I'm thinking about related to community, relationships, God's triune characteristics, the foundational truths that I sometimes pass over, and just a whole mess more.  

Some favorite quotes: 

"The choice to hide so many wonders from you is an act of love that is a gift inside the process of life."

"This garden is your soul.  This mess is you!  Together, you and I, we have been working with a purpose in your heart.  And it is wild and beautiful and perfectly in process.  To you it seems like a mess, but to me, I see a perfect pattern emerging and growing and alive..."

There were plenty more good quotes.  I recommend the read.  And then let's talk about it.

* Recent Frustration

It all stems back from me not being the greatest planner-aheader.  I had 45 days to get my temporary registration on my car switched to a for-real registration.  That requires an inspection, and then a trip to the DMV.  Sounds charming, right?  My deadline was Oct. 5 (that's ...today).  So about 10 days ago I realized I had 10 days and began to think about getting my car inspected.  I went online and scheduled for Thursday, Oct 2 (leaving myself 2 extra days for DMV hours...gooooo me).  

Well, Thursday I drove to work (instead of my usual bike-ride) to anticipate booking it down to SW to get my car inspected.  Well, I chose an alternate route than google maps (silly me) and was talking on the phone (strike 2) and wasn't exactly sure where I was going, so had just glanced down at my directions (during stop and go traffic around 5:15p in downtown DC = gross) when *BUMP* ... I hit the car in front of me.

[this story takes a while...shocker, eh?]  So - I had bumped into the rear bumper of this silver Toyota Camry.  I felt bad, b/c it's true, I was distracted.  But the lady started our interaction by saying that when I hit her, it had made her head snap back [on the headrest] and she was feeling dizzy; at a different point she told me she had called a family member because she didn't feel comfortable driving.  I did truly feel penitent - but dizzy?  Unable to drive?  I quickly began to get annoyed: a) at myself; b) at missing my inspection time; c) at drama queen lady; d) at the crappy situation.

So I called my dad (gotta love cell phones) and then called 911.  They dispatched an ambulance and those guys went to the Camry driver to see if she was alright.  The cop lady came and shortly after the Camry lady dismissed the ambulance guys.  The cop initially thought this would be not a big deal - just exchanging information.  But as she assessed the lady's drama level, she had the awareness that this may not settle nice & neat, so she wrote a formal report.  I drive a green car and there was absolutely NO damage to silver-bumper lady's car.  I took 4 pictures on my camera phone (at the suggestion of a sympathetic bystander) and am fully prepared to send them to whomever.  The cop sent me away with a $25 "failure to pay full attention" ticket (which she helpfully hinted could be contested..) and apologized to me for what I was being made to go through (she said, "off the record, I think this lady is BS-ing you").  

*sigh* Anyway, on Friday my insurance called me (I had reported it immediately) asking what happened.  APPARently, the lady is going to try to FILE A CLAIM to the incident!  I am befuddled trying to think of things she could possibly claim.  Imagine you were parallel parking and nudged the car in front of you a little too much.  That'd be similar to what I did to her car.  It was NOTHING.  But this is just something I have to deal with now.  go-ooo-lll-y! Piece of huffin cow patties!

Ok.  Enough ranting.  I'm sure more could follow.  At this point, I will close this lengthy 2-topic reflection and just try to check in more.  Life is moving rapidly and I have yet to feel secure in a balance that would sustain me.  I need more of this reflection time...so I'll have to work at carving that out still.  

For those that made it all the way down the post - good work!  Wishing you all wellness and autumn-ness :)